As I left the Wichita Starbucks where I have coffee every morning before work, I noticed more people on the street than usual. There had been no parking so I had to park about half a block away and as I walked towards my car, sweet cream latte in hand, a nutty, conspiracy looking guy with a tin foil cone hat bumped into me and yelled, “I’d be friends with sparrows!”
“Sorry,” I said. Not sure what he was saying or that it was my fault.
While waiting at the corner for the light to change, still trying to figure out what that tin hat man had said to me, I noticed another strange man staring at me from across the street. His hair grabbed my attention - hair that Bob Ross would have been jealous of. Reminded me of a lion’s mane. The guy looked terrified and when the walk light came on he creeped straight up to me and said, “I never would’ve found it if it hadn’t been for you,” and he proceeded to hand me a brown paper bag.
“What?” I asked, automatically taking the bag he handed me. He disappeared into the crowd before I could say anything else.
Just then, a mother with daughter in hand walked by and the daughter glanced at me, then the paper bag, and said, “I think I’m going to miss you most of all.”
“What?” I said, but she had already turned and continued talking with her mom.
“Weird things are happening!” I thought to myself, "I'm going home!" I started to look inside the bag I was holding but it was stapled shut.
Before I could undo the staples, there was a commotion, and a woman with a big black hat and green makeup came running out of the T-Mobile store next to Starbucks and slammed into me! I spilled my coffee and she said, “Just try and stay out of my way! Just try!” and ran off. I think I saw a gun! Police cars, sirens blaring, screeched to a halt all around me and the police jumped out and pointed their guns at me and said, “Put the bag down!”
I put it down.
“What’s in the bag?” The cop asked.
“The bag? Uh, that’s not my bag!” I could hear how lame that sounded! I was terrified! Who knew what was in that bag?
Luckily the crowd was telling the cops that the bad guy lady ran off and I was just a bystander. “Phew!”
The cops all dispersed, so I picked up the bag and walked quickly to my car and got in, shaking with spent adrenaline.
I had to see what was in the bag! I undid the staples, unfolded the bag, and poured the contents onto my passenger seat. It was a skull! Boy am I glad that I didn’t have to open that bag in front of the police!
Well, you know me, so I took it home and painted it. And after pondering the weird morning, I named it, “If I Only had a Brain.”
- Subject Matter: Still life
- Collections: Bold, Shadow and Light, Still Life