Torn

The background of the painting, TORN, 48” x 60”, is a repainting of a larger archipelago seascape that I painted titled Tropicana, 82” x 107”. Tropicana also has a large ‘X’ painted through the center of it (I sometimes paint an ‘X’ through my painting when I finish for the day so that when I return I am not feeling too precious about it). But in the case of this painting, when I returned to my studio to resume work I was surprised to see the ‘X’ had actually finished it with new interesting meaning! First, I am interested in spatial tension on the canvas and much of my painting explores it. In Tropicana, the ‘X’ flattens the image and frustrates the viewer from visually entering it. But, the ‘X’ also plays tricks on the viewer and helps the viewer enter with linear perspective. Secondly, the painting also became a clear expression of my profound longing for a mother-bliss-womb-like security and the impossibility of having it- in essence, ‘you can’t go home again’. The portraits are my daughters and the painting also feels like my attempt to teach them a profound truth as they contemplate skyward. The F-22 fighter jet is a potent symbol of power to me- I was deeply stricken how deadly an instrument they were when welded by the USA during the Iraq wars. My father was also very powerful to me, and he was a jet pilot. On the surface, torn is also about our society's youthful relationship to technology- torn with love and hate. Finally, when I painted the ‘X’ in this painting I actually tore the canvas with a palette knife, accidentally! The painting has been carefully repaired but the title perfectly embraces the humorous touch common in my paintings.