Sometimes I feel like someone forgot to tell me some really important things. Like, what being an adult actually means. I feel like I'm stumbling along, nearly avoiding crash landings by sheer luck while everyone else has it figured out or at least pretends that they know what they're doing? There are so many things I still don't know how they work, how I am supposed to handle them or don't know how to reach what is expected of me at this age? Or did the world shift so profoundly that my generation is fumbling along not having any of the things that generations before us saw as normal? There is a disconnect between what I thought my life looked like at this point and what it actually is. Hell. There is a disconnect between what I want my life to be and what I actually live in right now. A rather big one. And I have no idea how to connect point A and B. And everyone I'm asking, from family, friends, to mentors and mutuals on the internet. They all think they have an answer, but nothing works for me? I know I am not stupid, nor lazy. I am working on my dreams every single day to the point of burn out (I've gotten better though, I think) and I can't seem to reach even the tiniest bit of my dream life. I want to have something figured out for once. I want to be sure that my next step gets me closer to my dreams.
How about you? Has resignation already set in? Have you settled? Or are you still struggling, treading water and screaming at the top of your lungs?
A3 (30x40cm/12x16"), acrylic and mixed media on paper,