The unproductive business of worrying rarely alters the outcome or alleviates the grief of loss. The impact that sudden and profound loss can elicit is devastating. And worrying about it didn’t change anything. I felt lost and outside of myself, but still tethered to the domestic spaces of our family home. Caught between a familiar reality and overwhelming repeating botanical patterns, a figure collapsed, suspended in grief and disbelief. The garden is my refuge and my mother’s dog Stella watches over. She serves to demonstrate resilience, break the tension and help make sense out of this existential crisis.