My grandmother died suddenly and tragically in 2021, but she had been dying for two years. Fear of and resistance to change brought selflessness and selfishness into a twisted alchemy. She neglected to care for herself, she resented the person that she set herself aside for, and she pushed away the ones that grieved for them both. After she died, I was sorting through items in her home and I came across a little hummingbird, placed in a small bag by my grandmother as a way to protect it after it had died. I had been so angry with my grandmother for refusing help, resisting the inevitable, and pushing me away but in that moment, I fell apart. My grandma was this hummingbird-trapped in the end, but before it all fell apart in her attempt to hide from grief, she was nothing but joy and light.
Where is grief keeping you trapped?
How would making peace with this grief set you free?
- Subject Matter: Self-Portrait